I lived for a while in Durban, South Africa as a child and I loved the way the South Africans used the word 'shame' in every day language. "Ah I missed my train!", was responded with 'shame'. It was a lovely gentle use of the word.
But we also know the power and burden of that word.
To feel shame, to feel ashamed.
As I type type that word I feel my chest getting tight and my heart hurting.
I help my clients see that emotions are meant to be felt, there is always a nugget in there, they are messengers - telling us that something needs to be heard.
But dwelling on shame, staying in 'ashamed' ..... how is that serving you?
Is living in that shame serving you?
What do you need to let go of?